Diary
Originally, I was going to post only what I studied on this blog. However, if I write down impressive days and organize them into one tag, it will be good in many ways for me to see in a few years. Since English is not my first language, it is difficult to organize my thoughts and convey them. So at first, I was writing today’s thoughts in Korean in the Velog. However, the process of writing down my thoughts in an unfamiliar language helped me once again to agonize over the situation entirely. Also, I decided to write it down in English because I thought it would be difficult to fully understand my previous thoughts even if someone else read them.
Ordinatur
I met my friend in middle school after a long time. We met for the first time in a while because we were busy living and going to the army, but after meeting, there was no awkwardness. Whenever I meet this friend, I often listen to each other’s situations from a third party’s perspective and share my thoughts. It was a story that came out during that time. Where are we headed? It doesn’t come from a very special story. It’s been a while since my friend was dating, so when I asked my friend what kind of person he wanted to meet, I heard that he wanted to meet someone who could look in the same direction and move forward together. Listening to my friend proudly explaining his life’s direction made me worry.
When I took the CSAT again this year and came to Hanyang University, I had various plans for life. However, if I asked if I was living according to the plan, I could affirm that it was absolutely not at all. The goals I wrote when I didn’t know anything were both too fanciful and too abstract. So I decided to think about where my life is going. I prefer to split up such a big problem. So to discuss the direction of life, I needed to think about what I value. I’ve always grown up looking at my father’s back in my life. From a third party’s point of view, I think the father is a person who clearly divides his strengths and weaknesses. My father has little social experience due to his job specificity. Looking at this part, I tried to learn this experience through various company experiences. Regardless of this, my father has a very good relationship at home. My mother and father are friends in elementary school, and they always have fun at home, maybe because they watched each other for a long time. I remember the first time I decided to take three years. It sounds funny, but I studied again because I thought I would be ashamed of my future child. Of course, was that the right choice in retrospect? It strikes me that But even if I go back, I’ll make the same choice. These two ideas are the first ones that came to mind when I thought about my goal.
So where am I going now? I’m actually not sure. Since I’m still a freshman, I’m interested in and trying in many ways, but there seems to be too many roads around me to focus on something. There are parts that I think are somewhat stable. I like to push, plan and envision something. In addition to the current TIL study, outsourcing work is also being conducted, and various things are being tried. Just by looking at this, I can tell that I like these things. But these can only be tools. What do I ultimately want to pursue? After meeting my friend today, I kept thinking about this part, but one word was at the center. I don’t want to be ashamed. I don’t know the details yet. Maybe I’m being fooled into the illusion of essence and trying to fit myself into it. But it’s a blessing to have time to reflect on life on my 26th birthday. Later, I will talk more about this part with my friend and add an article when I have an insight. I often get insights not only from my friends but also from reading, but it is a pity that I rarely read anything recently. I’m going to cut back on my writing, hoping that I can be a little better tomorrow.